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Enjoying a satisfying sex life

Sex. The word can evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions. From love, excitement, and tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment—the reactions are as varied as sexual experiences themselves. What's more, many people will encounter all these emotions and many others in the course of a sex life spanning several decades.

But what is sex, really?

On one level, sex is just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species. Of course, that narrow view underestimates the complexity of the human sexual response. In addition to the biochemical forces at work, your experiences and expectations help shape your sexuality. Your understanding of yourself as a sexual being, your thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying sexual connection, and your relationship with your partner are key factors in your ability to develop and maintain a fulfilling sex life.

Talking to your partner
Many couples find it difficult to talk about sex even under the best of circumstances. When sexual problems occur, feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether. Because good communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is the first step not only to a better sex life, but also to a closer emotional bond. Here are some tips for tackling this sensitive subject.

Find the right time to talk
There are two types of sexual conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. It's perfectly appropriate to tell your partner what feels good in the middle of lovemaking, but it's best to wait until you're in a more neutral setting to discuss larger issues, such as mismatched sexual desire or orgasm troubles.

Avoid criticizing
Couch suggestions in positive terms, such as, "I really love it when you touch my hair lightly that way," rather than focusing on the negatives. Approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in assigning blame.

Confide in your partner about changes in your body
If hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things. It's much better that he know what's really going on rather than interpret these physical changes as lack of interest. Likewise, if you're a man and you no longer get an erection just from the thought of sex, show your partner how to stimulate you rather than let her believe she isn't attractive enough to arouse you anymore.

Be honest
You may think you're protecting your partner's feelings by faking an orgasm, but in reality you're starting down a slippery slope. As challenging as it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment.

Don't equate love with sexual performance
Create an atmosphere of caring and tenderness; touch and kiss often. Don't blame yourself or your partner for your sexual difficulties. Focus instead on maintaining emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship. For older couples, another potentially sensitive subject that's worth discussing is what will happen after one partner dies. In couples who enjoy a healthy sex life, the surviving partner will likely want to seek out a new partner. Expressing your openness to that possibility while you are both still alive will likely relieve guilt and make the process less difficult for the surviving partner later.
Using self-help strategies
Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in your lovemaking style. Here are some things you can try at home.

Educate yourself
Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each other.Give yourself time
As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you'll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn't a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.

Use lubrication
Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.

Maintain physical affection
Even if you're tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.

Practice touching
The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured. Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched. This will give you a better sense of how much pressure, from gentle to firm, you should use.

Try different positions
Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

The G-spot
The G-spot, or Grafenberg spot, named after the gynecologist who first identified it, is a mound of super-sensitive spongelike tissue located within the roof of the vagina, just inside the entrance. Proper stimulation of the G-spot can produce intense orgasms. Because of its difficult-to-reach location and the fact that it is most successfully stimulated manually, the G-spot is not routinely activated for most women during vaginal intercourse. While this has led some skeptics to doubt its existence, research has demonstrated that a different sort of tissue does exist in this location.
You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G-spot. To find it, try rubbing your finger in a beckoning motion along the roof of your vagina while you're in a squatting or sitting position, or have your partner massage the upper surface of your vagina until you notice a particularly sensitive area. Some women tend to be more sensitive and can find the spot easily, but for others it's difficult.
If you can't easily locate it, you shouldn't worry. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For couples dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking.
Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation of the G-spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm.
Write down your fantasies
This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.

Do Kegel exercises
Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.

Try to relax
Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.

Use a vibrator
This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.

Don’t give up
If none of your efforts seem to work, don’t give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

Maintaining good health
Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life.

Exercise, exercise, exercise
Physical activity is first and foremost among the healthy behaviors that can improve your sexual functioning. Because physical arousal depends greatly on good blood flow, aerobic exercise (which strengthens your heart and blood vessels) is crucial. And exercise offers a wealth of other health benefits, from staving off heart disease, osteoporosis, and some forms of cancer to improving your mood and helping you get a better night's sleep. Also, don't forget to include strength training.
Don't smoke
Smoking contributes to peripheral vascular disease, which affects blood flow to the penis, clitoris, and vaginal tissues. In addition, women who smoke tend to go through menopause two years earlier than their nonsmoking counterparts. If you need help quitting, try nicotine gum or patches or ask your doctor about the drugs bupropion (Zyban) or varenicline (Chantix).

Use alcohol in moderation
Some men with erectile dysfunction find that having one drink can help them relax, but heavy use of alcohol can make matters worse. Alcohol can inhibit sexual reflexes by dulling the central nervous system. Drinking large amounts over a long period can damage the liver, leading to an increase in estrogen production in men. In women, alcohol can trigger hot flashes and disrupt sleep, compounding problems already present in menopause.

Eat right
Overindulgence in fatty foods leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity—both major risk factors for cardiovascular disease. In addition, being overweight can promote lethargy and a poor body image. Increased libido is often an added benefit of losing those extra pounds.

Use it or lose it
When estrogen drops at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. You can slow this process or even reverse it through sexual activity. If intercourse isn't an option, masturbation is just as effective, although for women, this is most effective if you use a vibrator or dildo (an object resembling a penis) to help stretch the vagina. For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a portion of the oxygen-rich blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning. As a result, something akin to scar tissue develops in muscle cells, which interferes with the ability of the penis to expand when blood flow is increased.

Putting the fun back into sex
Even in the best relationship, sex can become ho-hum after a number of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark.

Be adventurous
Maybe you've never had sex on the living room floor or in a secluded spot in the woods; now might be the time to try it. Or try exploring erotic books and films. Even just the feeling of naughtiness you get from renting an X-rated movie might make you feel frisky.

Be sensual
Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all five of your senses. Concentrate on the feel of silk against your skin, the beat of a jazz tune, the perfumed scent of flowers around the room, the soft focus of candlelight, and the taste of ripe, juicy fruit. Use this heightened sensual awareness when making love to your partner.

Be playful
Leave love notes in your partner's pocket for him or her to find later. Take a bubble bath together—the warm cozy feeling you have when you get out of the tub can be a great lead-in to sex. Tickle. Laugh.

Be creative
Expand your sexual repertoire and vary your scripts. For example, if you're used to making love on Saturday night, choose Sunday morning instead. Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sex toys and sexy lingerie if you never have before.

Be romantic
Read poetry to each other under a tree on a hillside. Surprise each other with flowers when it isn't a special occasion. Plan a day when all you do is lie in bed, talk, and be intimate. The most important tool you have at your disposal is your attitude about sexuality. Armed with good information and a positive outlook, you should be able to maintain a healthy sex life for many years to come.

How to strengthen your romantic relationship and make love last

Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. But there are some things that good relationships have in common. Knowing the basic principles of healthy relationships helps keep them meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in both happy times and sad:
What makes a healthy love relationship?

• Staying involved with each other. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there.
• Getting through conflict. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right. 
• Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.
• Communicating. Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Critical to communication are nonverbal cues—body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm.

How to Make a Woman Orgasm And Scream For More!!!

PART 1
Introduction
sex is a wonderful thing - I haven't met a person yet who would dispute this. Everybody loves sex, whether they like talking about it openly or not. One of the reasons you're reading this is because you enjoy sex and you would like to enjoy it more and have your partner enjoy it more. For all you males reading this, wouldn't you like to be known around town as the greatest !**@! of all time? Or husbands and men in steady relationship - wouldn't you like your woman to be amazed at your new found sexual knowledge and have her beg you for more sex? Sex can be the greatest pleasure a person can ever experience - or a major disappointment.
Surveys have shown that 75% of women fake orgasm every time, 15% faked it most of the time and about 9.5% said they occasionally faked it. Which leaves about 0.5% who said they never faked it. I know most of you men out there will find this hard to believe, but it's true. I'm a woman, I know.
Women, by faking orgasms, are missing out on one of the most pleasurable experiences imagineable - but so are their partners. You will realize the difference once you have read this playgal exclusive article. Both the male and females sexual pleasure increases to unbelievable new heights once you know how to bring a woman to an orgasm every time. Your woman will want you as never before - she will never want or need another man. And girls, if you want to have better sex, then teach your man what I am about to tell you.
Most men I have met were anxious to learn how to satisfy women during sex. Each man I interviewed I asked 'what do you think makes a woman orgasm most during intercourse?' most responses were along the lines of:
'just putting my penis inside her gets her excited' - it may get your partner excited but it is not enough - no where near enough.
'she just loves me ramming her hard' - this is so far from the truth it is ridiculous!
It is generally easy for men to become sexually aroused because his sexual organs are on the outside of the body and are easily stimulated. Men that are unfit mentally or physically can sometimes take longer to arouse, as do men that are bored with their partners. Do you know the main reason men get bored with their partners sexually? Could it be that the woman herself is bored because she is not getting sexual pleasure and therefore doesn't seem interested in sex as much. Sex would get boring if the pleasure is all one sided, don't you think guys? Imagine having sex every few days and never reaching an orgasm. Doesn't sound like much fun does it?
Some men can get a woman worked into a sexual frenzy during foreplay, but then when it comes to intercourse .. The momentum doesn't continue and in most cases, both the man and woman don't know what is wrong. Then the woman finally pretends to have an orgasm because she wants the whole event to be over to end the boredom and or pain.
If a man doesn't know how to handle intercourse properly the woman will become bored and unsatisfied in the relationship, and look for other options. Most women will tell their men everything is great - just to keep them feeling like a man. The men usually are unsuspecting that there is a problem.
But guys, it's not your fault - you're a man; how could you possibly know what it feels like? Only a woman really knows how to satisfy a woman. Only a woman knows the physical sensations of a woman's body. Most women don't like talking about it with their partners because it may make them feel less manly.
Most literature is written about rough, ramming and hard sex, so why would anyone think sex should be different - most women think this is the way to have sex too. But i'm going to help you and your partner enjoy sex to its maximum over the next few editions of playgal.
Tease your partner first
women like affection. They like to have their bodies gently caressed. Imagine yourself lying totally naked and 100% relaxed with hands slowly and gently touching your body. Try running your fingertips gently, so gentle you are barely touching your body along the inside of your own arm down to your hand. It tickles a bit but it feels nice, even if it feels like you need to scratch it a little.
When making love with your partner you need to give their body a desire. Gently run your fingertips all over her body barely touching the skin. Do this for 3-4 minutes without touching the breasts or clitoris then slowly work your way up to her breasts but dont touch her nipples. Circle her breasts with the palms of your hands and fingertips. You can occasionally kiss gently around her breasts but don't touch her nipples yet - touch below and above them but not on them.
This will start to drive her crazy - you have created a desire for you to touch her nipples. You are not giving her something she wants. After a few minutes of teasing her very very softly touch her nipples. Then continue to circle the nipples gently with your fingers then gently lick once or twice next to each nipple but not on it.
You are in total control - she is being driven insane by now. You have created an excitement and desire within her sexual being. Now when you feel she is ready - she will let you know it is time to move on to the next step .. The beginning of intercourse, in part 2.
Note
it is important not to weaken and begin to grope and paw at her breasts and body and do not touch her clitoris in this teasing phase - it will only turn her off. The purpose is to create a want. Don't weaken - stay in control, this is only the warm-up for great love making.

PART 2
ready for action!
Now, you're both ready to go .. You're hard and ready, and she's giving you that look that says she wants it. You just want to plunge straight in - and she's cheering you on.
Don't do it!
You haven't gone to all this effort to blow it all now, pardon the pun. Now - you've got to really start torturing her..
Touch your penis to the lips of her clitoris .. Gently. Softly rub your penis over her clit, letting her know it's there, ready to enter .. If you want it to. You are now completely in charge, and in total control of the situation. You're going to tease her until she screams for you to put it in!
Now, she's asking you to put it in .. But you don't. Keep teasing. She asks more urgently .. You still don't. You are in control, and she's loving it - not knowing when you're going to enter! Keep teasing, gently rubbing, even if she does scream for you to put it in.
Only when she begins building towards orgasm to you move it further in .. Just half an inch or so, very slowly, in and out. After a little while (staying in control!) move it slowly in a full inch .. Gradually, keep increasing the amount you put it in, until it's almost the whole length.
Remember, if you enter the entire length - ram it in - you will make contact with her clit, and this we don't want; the object is to tease her, make her want you to thrust all the way. The longer you tease her, and yourself, the more intense your orgasms will be.
The point of surrender
now, she's quivering with desire. Speed up a little - not to ramming speed though - and it'll push her over the edge. She may scream, she may call at your name (hopefully!) or she may just whimper softly - but you'll know you've given her an orgasm. But keep going! Keep moving in and out, faster now; she'll orgasm again - more quickly now, with no need for teasing. You can sped up even more if you wish (and can) - but don't resort to 'ramming' her hard.
She may have several more orgasms .. Or only one more. Two to five is the norm, and this may be the first one she's had in a long time! If you've been able to keep going past the first one, that's great .. But even if you cum now, it will be one of the deepest and most incredible orgasms you yourself have ever had.
Refine your technique; try to make yourself hold off longer and longer. It will enrich the sexual experience for both you and your partner.
Note to part 2:
if you're both adventurous - and really willing to torture each other, wait until the point of orgasm and stop - dead. Withdraw, and lie down beside her.. Then resume again later that or the next day. The anticipation will peak, until the next time you'll both be ready with hardly any teasing!

PART 3

the fantasy!
Most of us, when it comes to sex, have a good imagination. We might fantasise about the woman who works in the office next door, someone who eats lunch at the same place we do, or even imagine ourselves playing out different roles that we usually perform.
So - why not harness this natural power of fantasization for sex? If you're more excited and aroused, your partner will know it and go further herself. And, as long as she doesn't know what you're thinking, you can imagine anything.
There are those, both men and women, who like to imagine themselves dominating their partner, or being submissive. This is perfectly harmless as long as it goes no further than the mind - or, if it does go further, with a partner who is attracted to the idea and wants to play out the other role.
And don't let appearances fool you .. A sedate appearing person may have some very kinky thoughts bubbling undetr the surface; in fact, if a person is more self-repressed, it's more likely they'll be making up for it in their minds.
.. Vs. Reality
you, and your partner, both probably have many secret little fantasies that you've always wanted to try. Although dressing up as king tutankahmen and having your lover wait on you hand and foot may not be something you can confide in with someone you've just met, you can imagine yourself in that position .. And, when you reach a stage with someone where you feel you can trust each other, let her know about this litle fantasy .. And encourage her to tell you her own.
If you do become open to each other's fantasies, it's important that you don't let them take over .. Or you may find yourself resorting to kinkier and kinkier role-playing, until one day, you stop yourself and say 'whoah! This is getting scary .. I'm getting out!'
it's important to realise that although fantasies - and role playing - are a great adjunct to 'normal' sexual encounters, they can't replace them .. And, the more you indulge in fantasies to spice up your sex life, the more you will come to rely on them.
Strike a balance - use the anticipation of an upcoming role-playing 'session' to fuel your desire; and maybe even run the fantasy through your mind until you can both no longer resist. In this way, you can get the most 'mileage' out of your imaginations.
PART 4

healthy body - great sex!
One of the biggest factors affecting the enjoyment of sex is the health of the body. Smoking cigarettes constricts the capillaries and blood vessels in the body, which restricts blood flow to the genitals and thus decreases sexual enjoyment; alcohol and other caffeine sources destroy vital vitamin b elemnts within the body, making us more lethargic.
This lethargy and lack of physical vitality not only communicates itself to our partner during sex, but also comes across when we're on the look-out for a partner; it's ironic that the two most consumed items in a bar or night-club environment - alcohol and cigarettes - are the two greatest killers of good sex! Vitamin b, which is burnt up by the metabolising of alcohol, also makes us more relaxed - so while the alcohol is loosening us up on the one hand, it's destroying our vitamin b levels. So when the alcohol has been metabolised from our bodies, we are very low on vitamin b - and thus the hangover.
Our bodies function best when they contain optimum levels of amino acids, nutrients and other chemicals required for the chemical lab we call a body. Unfortunately, modern lifestyles generally do not allow for the proper intake of such chemicals; and so, the moajority of the population is functioning improperly.
So, you can stand out from the crowd by simply being healthier; you'll project an aura of energy and vitality that will make you feel great - and if you feel great, other people feel great about you.
Getting healthier
more and more vitamins and other nutrients, and how they power our body, are being discovered every year. But the basics are:
vitamin a: essential for good skin; gets rid of those pimples and other skin impurities. It improves you hair condition, and helps your vision, both night and day.
Vitamin b: actually a broad spectrum of vitamins, including b1, b2, b6, b12, folic acid, niacin, inositol and pantothenic acid, among others. They are what's called synergistic, meaning that if you take too much of one type, it can make you deficient in the others; so you should take a b complex supplement every day (because b groups are water soluble, they must be replenished every day)
vitamin c: or ascorbic acid, assists the immune system. It should be taken with a lot of liquid. If you keep your doses high in this (say, 10,000 mgs a day) you're likely to reduce your risk of catching colds and flus.
Vitamin d: also gotten from exposure to the sun, it helps the body to absorb and retain calcium. Vitamin d in itself needs fat or oils to be absorbed, so take it after a meal that includes some.
Vitamin e: assists in the transport and efficient use of oxygen; more oxygen gets to your cells, particularly your brain. It's also called the 'sex vitamin' because it assists in the production of sex hormones. These are the basic vitamins; however, one indespensible way to a healthy body has to be at least a minimum amount of exercise. Even if you work out lightly for half an hour every day or two, your body will function more efficiently, the blood circulate better, and your whole body function better with less stress.P and of course, let's not forget the best form of exercise - sex!

How To Attract A Lady

Self confidence is one of the top things women look for, and are attracted to, in a guy. Actually if we are going to get real about it...self confidence is what everything else stems from.

If you don't have confidence then you don't believe that you are worthy of a woman and you don't believe that you can please her the way she wants to be pleased.

I'm talking about feel it to the bone confidence.

Women can sense that confidence from a mile away! They know when you are scared and unsure of yourself, and it's not a sexy attribute to have.

That's why all those guys who are timid and down on themselves don't get a lot of woman - or should I say keep a lot of woman.

They may get a woman out of sheer luck. She may feel bad for him. She may see something that he doesn't. She may have caught him on a day that he had liquid courage in him. Either way she will soon catch on to his low self-worth and be on her way to someone else.

So get some confidence in yourself as a person, and your abilities to please a woman.

As always, I recommend supreme self confidence for that job. Slade Shaw gives it to you straight, and tells it like it needs to be told. You will thank him in the end.

Knowledge of What Women Want, Like, and Desire

You can't be an accountant if you know nothing about accounting. You can't swim across a lake if you don't know how to swim. And you can't attract women if you know nothing about women.

Men and women are different. We literally think differently and act on different impulses.

Women like to be heard. Men don't always have that need to be acknowledged like that.

Women take things to heart and can be way more emotional than men. Men move past things quicker than women can.

Women can lose an orgasm if something distracts her - even if she's on the brink of an orgasm. Men see it through.

There are many differences between women and men.

Your job is to understand that.

It allows you to understand why she thinks the way she does and what she wants in her life. It allows you to approach a woman knowing the right things to say and do that won't offend her, but will instead have her interest locked on you.

Understanding women is essential in attracting them.

There are guys who do not have a clue. They say the wrong things and do the wrong things constantly. This turns women off from them completely. Then they do it all over again! Only to turn more women off. If they just made some changes in the way they talk or act, they would have it made.

The only way to understand women is to learn from people who know what they are talking about.

There are two places that I recommend you start learning.

If you want to understand what women are looking for outside of bed (which is the first step to getting them into bed) then you want to read fireworks with females.

If you want to understand what women want in bed - what their orgasms are made of - and how you can make her have them, then you want to read my post on how to please your woman in bed.

Fear Holds Back Dreams and Desires - And Women

Fear will stop you in your tracks when you are approaching a woman you like. It will hold you back from approaching her altogether. And it will stand between the life you could have, or the life you have now.

I feel like I'm being really dramatic, but the truth is - it's true.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself - Franklin D Roosevelt

What's the worse that can happen if you get rejected by that woman?

• You move on with life.

• You find out that she wasn't the one for you.

• You find someone who is for you.
• Now what's the worse that can happen if you let fear hold you back from even trying?

• You will never know if you could have succeeded and you spend a lifetime with what if's.

In the end of your life you are not going to care about that girl who rejected you, but you will care about the one girl who made your life complete.

So don't let fear hold you back. Arm yourself with knowledge and information about women. Get the self-confidence you need in yourself to understand all that you have to offer a woman. Then go out and attract women to you that you want in your life.

It's just that easy

What Makes Men Run Away?

Who doesn't want men to gravitate towards them and find them extremely attractive? Especially if you are single and are looking for the right man to compliment and complete your life.

When we are trying to attract men we put on the typical 'attractive' women roles. There are actually a few of the stereotype roles that girls play in order to get the guy. If one doesn't work we try the next one, and on and on.

I'm not sure whether we've learned this through movies, friends, or just tales of it working passed down from generation to generation but it's instinctual when we are trying to impress a guy. It's time we get rid of these tricks, that don't normally work, and start being real. These common girly stereotypes that we use to attract men are:

•    Acting whiny

•    Acting needy

•    Acting dumb

•    Acting fake

•    Acting clueless

•    Acting naive

And everything in between these traits.

These really do get used every day. I see it all around me and to be honest I used to be guilty of it as well. I was led to believe that it was what guys liked.

It may be cute to little boys who are looking for a fling, but believe me when I say it is not attractive and endearing to men who want a committed relationship with a woman. In fact it's a turn off and annoying.

The biggest thing you can do to attract men is to be confident in yourself and your abilities.

Have self-confidence in yourself, and feeling like you are one of the best catches out there and that any man would be lucky to have you in their life, is sexy to a man.

• Have confidence in your ability to do things on your own without a man's help.

• Have confidence in your ability to go out in life and make something of yourself or contribute something to this world.

• Have confidence to be true to yourself and your beliefs, standards, and morals.

There really is nothing sexier than confidence. Think of the way you view men and what a self confident guy looks like to you as opposed to a guy who isn't sure about himself and everything that he does.

Wouldn't you rather be honest with a guy and let him see what a strong and independent person you are instead of pretending to be something you are not and have him find out later that you are really not an air-head who will serve his every need?

Doing this does not make it look like you don't need or want someone in your life. It just shows them that you are a happy person who would make his life better for being with you. And that is what a guy is looking for - a woman who will make his life better for having her.

Men are attracted to a woman who knows how to flirt. By flirting I mean making them want you and see you as someone that they want to know more about and possibly have in their life.

Flirting takes some pressure off of him if he's not sure whether he should approach you or not. If you give him some clear signals that you are interested than he can move forward, ask you out, and do it with more confidence than if you hadn't give him a clue.

There is subtle flirting and there is not so subtle flirting, and while you think

they would have different impacts, they pretty much can produce the same

desired result. He will notice you and know you are interested

Here are 4 things that will drive him wild.

1. Be The Sexiest You That You Can Be!

This is where the self-confidence shows itself again.

When you want to attract men show off what you got!  If you have good legs then show those off. If you have a chest that would make most girls jealous then show it off! As long as you are comfortable with it you can accentuate your features for him to notice.

Think about passing a guy in everyday plain old sweats and a very loose T-shirt and then passing him in a tighter shirt and some butt accentuating jeans and guess which one you`ll get the reaction you want from? It's true!

Guys also like to see some skin because it makes them think about other parts that they are not seeing so stay comfortable but sexy and strut your stuff past him every chance you get.

2. Use Physical Contact to Your Advantage.

Remember we are talking about flirting here and not outright foreplay so keep this to a light flirty kind of feel.

When you touch him it will send shivers down his spine, just like it does for you. You can touch his hand just a second longer when getting something from him, or put your hand on his arm when you are 'trying' to sneak past him.

Any opportunity you get - grab it.  When you see a moment to 'accidentally' touch him, take it!

3. Be Aware of Your Body Language.

Attract men with your body language. Eye contact is huge in letting him know you are into him and will make it easy for him to approach you. If you maintain eye contact for just a second too long it gives a different energy than a normal look or the way too long glare that means hateful eye contact. Use it at the right time and in the right way, and he'll feel it to his bones.

Always hold your body confidently around him to portray your confidence in what you want. Remember that confidence is a huge turn on.

Use your smile to let him know that you are thinking about him in more ways than he may know. A cute and sly smile will have him wondering what's going on in your head while knowing that you are into him.

Keep your body language open to him to allow him to see that you are interested in him and that he has a shot with you. This means not crossing your arms when talking to him or turning your head away from him.

Your body language can tell him what he wants to know and the best part about it is that it is instinctual in us and comes natural when we are flirting. It also give him those feelings of being wanted.

4. Be Positive and Happy

One of the most attractive things that everyone loves, not just men, is being positive and happy.

Men will take notice of you if you are an upbeat and positive woman. They will want some of that happiness and they will do what they can to get it!

Do not put down other people - this will set you apart from the 'ugly' woman who gossip and put others down for their own ego.

Do not complain about everything, including your looks. Do not whine about having to do something.

The best way to be positive in life is to just enjoy your life - and enjoy the ride.

This attitude will ooze out of your every pore and men will be instantly attracted to you. You can incorporate this into your flirting when you are around him or talking to him.

One note though: Don't be an air-head! Don't laugh at his jokes with a cackle that never ends. Don't bounce around like a little girl. Instead, be an intelligent woman who looks at the bright side of life - and enjoys every minute of it.

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a guy is really into you or if he just likes you as a friend.

If a man is really attracted to you, even if he has not told you or your friends, there will be some obvious signs of attraction that you can watch for to know for sure.

1. He agrees with you, even when you are wrong.

Whether you are saying that the sky is purple or that David Spade is the funniest comic ever he will agree with you if he is really into you. He will not chance arguing with you and will try to keep you happy with him and delighted that he thinks the same.

If you find him disagreeing with you about almost everything you say than he may be trying to make a point about what he thinks about the way you think.

2. Whether you are alone or in a crowd he's only got eyes for you.

Guys who are really into you will be all about you when you are out. He won't break eye contact for the nearest girl walking by and he'll be checking you out while you are together. Eyes are a huge indicator of how someone feels about you and just looking into them should let you know what he's feeling.

3. He really listens to you and tries to respond back with something you like.

Guys that like you want you to know that they are interested in what you have to say. They will laugh at the appropriate times and respond with an appropriate comment. They will be engaged in the conversation instead of just someone you are talking to.

4. He will be attentive and he will make sure you are okay.

Whether he lets you wear his jacket when you are cold or helps you get untangled from some sticky situation he will be there for you and make sure that you are okay even when he doesn't have to.

5. He takes your side on everything.

If you and your girlfriend are arguing about something silly he will always take your side. Give him a choice between your opinion and her opinion and you'll see that he chooses you no matter what. He will put some pretend thought into it but he will know all alone what side he's on.

My favorite mantra is something isn't working then fix it. This is true for many things including how to attract men.

If your mind-set about men is negative or even twisted in some way, then you will probably not attract good men to you.

If your confidence is not as high as it could be, then you may settle for jerks or 'the same old' guy that you always get.

There are many things that could be going wrong with your approach to men - how you act, how you talk, how you think, how you move...the list goes on and on.

My point is if you always attract jerks, if you always lose the guy before you get him, if you don't attract men period, then something you are doing is not  working and you need to fix it.

The only way to do that is to learn from other people who know what they are talking about and may give you some insights into what you are doing wrong.

How To Please a Woman in Bed

How to please a woman orally, sexually, and even mentally can be a mystery to some men but I'm here to take away the mystery and offer you a chance to be one of the rare guys who know what they are actually doing to a woman in bed and whether or not what they are doing is actually working.

First of all you should know that many women do not know how to pleasure themselves, and the percentage of women who have had an orgasm is actually quite shockingly low.

So if a woman has not learned how to pleasure herself and has never experienced an orgasm then she is not going to be able to help you out in the bedroom as far as pleasing her goes
This means that you have to learn how to satisfy a woman without her help.



The good news is that if you can figure it all out then you become the guy who first gave her that pleasure and taught her about her body, and that makes you something special that she will always be thankful for.



If there's one thing that you should know about women and their ability to reach an orgasm, it's that they need all their senses stimulated to do so.



Women need to 'be in the mood' which means their brain needs to be thinking about sex first for their their body to follow. If there brain is thinking about the days problems or tomorrow's tasks then they are never going to reach an orgasm and most likely will not be in the mood even if they are participating in the act.



Did you know that a woman can be at the brink of orgasm but if she is distracted by another thought she will automatically drop off the orgasm cliff and have to start the whole build up process again? It's not fair but it's true. This is why keeping her mind engaged is so important.



So start by touching her lightly on the arm or neck while you are not even thinking about sex. This will engage her brain towards being turned on and starting to think about sex. Watching a sexy movie is a great way to get her in the mood because she will be forced to think about sex and start thinking about it with you.



My point is to build up the tension as you go and get her mind more and more focused on the bedroom and her body wanting more and more. Get rid of the other thoughts she has going on and keep her engaged in the thought of pleasure.



Watch her reaction the next time you want sex and just abruptly try to start it. Chances are she's going to not be as hot as she would be if you were to build up to it.



Women also need a bigger connection during sex than guys do to keep them focused and engaged.



So keep eye contact up, talk to her, whisper in her ear, touch her all over, and let her know that you are in bed with her for more than just her vagina and breasts. She'll love it and have a better chance of orgasm.



If you want to learn everything you can about getting her turned on and in the mood, engaged in sex, and have her heading in the right direction for an orgasm then you have to read my next blog that will really talk about sex in the Nigerian context.